Stuck

I've been way too emotional lately ... just when it starts getting better I feel like I'm down in the pits again...

I just feel so hopeless about myself about my future about everything.  And yet I know this shouldn't be the case...

I force myself to think more positively but is that act making myself feel even worse cos I can't measure up?

And I still struggle so much with comparison.  Comparing myself to others. It's like this disease that's so out of control. 

I'm tired.  I'm so sick of it yet. But it still hang on and I keep faking. I don't know how to continue anymore.

I'm stuck.