Book-Disappointments with God by Philip Yancey

Just finished this book. It's really wonderfully written. I have always have issues with my faith. Although I'm a relatively new Christian, I still do have times when I have my seeds of doubts. I don't have that kind of 100% confidence and faith in God that I see in some believers. Sometimes that made me wonder if I'm really a believer, if it's really okay to be like this. It made me feel like maybe it's wrong what I'm feeling and perhaps I should find ways to have more faith, to believe more and do whatever it takes.

And so I did, I do what I always do when I have questions. I turn to books. And I'm so glad I found this book. I have to applaud Yancey for writing this book. It isn't easy I think, the emotional toll that one has to go through to think and pen down such ideas and theories. He cleverly summaries our disappointments with god as three types: whether god's unfair, why he's silent and why he's hidden.

We people think life would be so much easier if God would just show up and tell us what to do; guide us, create more miracles that are attention drawing, in fact anything loud so that we KNOW for sure he's there.
But after reading the analysis done by Yancey from the books of the Old Testament, I now could see how that maybe wouldn't work out.

God wants us to love Him; not fear him or act like we love him/obey him out of submission and resignation. That's why we had the option to love Him or not. I think it's kind of like how we humans are like too, how we want to be loved but we want genuine love.

And yes, Yancey's very relateable in his writing. I feel like I just came out of this reading with a much renewed faith. A kind of faith that can survive doubts, disappointments and injustice and yet still hang on to God. As long as we cling on to him, I guess that in itself is a very wonderful act of faith.

Just like how God has never forsaken us, the lest we could do is do the same when we're tested with the trials of life.

I'm still a work in progress and I've realised I've got so much to learn. Lessons on patience, humility, and love. And I thank God for showing me all these. It made me accept my flaws (kind of although sometimes I really wish I was just simply perfect xD who doesn't?) and yes, learning and the growth process is really painful. But I guess this is part of life, part of growth, part of what it means to be human.

Thank you Yancey for the good book and sharings. And thank you God for leading me to the bookstore and chancing upon this book. I'm feeling so blessed now.