I want to write. Since I was young, I've enjoyed reading, narratives, stories and thoughts so much. Writing is then an outlet for me to digest what I've consumed.
But, I don't know when it had began, I began to fear and hate writing.
Because writing my thoughts out is like making permanent all these free flowing stuff I have in my head. And I am a private person. Of course I can choose to write in a private journal, yet that's hardly what I do as I am kinda squirmish about my handwriting. I like the neatness of type fonts. And the paragraphing and the straight lines and the equal spacing. All these unachievable (at least for me) and very effortful to pen down decently and legitimately in my penmanship. And all these will probably just distract me from writing.
Okay, that was probably all excuses. In a nutshell, I'm just lazy.
But I want to change. I've been impacted and inspired so much by stuffs I read from the Internet. Articles. Blogs. Websites. I want to have a tiny little voice here too on this blog. And maybe it's digital permenance is something I can live with as reading through often makes me feel like I've lived. I was alive. And I'm still alive today to be typing this.
I hope. I really do hope. That I will continue writing. Through all my fears, doubts, insecurities and anxieties that I will continue putting one word at a time down.
It doesn't have to be long. All that matters was that I've spoken, even if my voice is trembling and I desperately wish I'm having sore throat so I'd have some excuses to stop talking. But I'm given a voice for a reason. And it's a privilege to be literate. Don't waste it. And don't ever feel like your voice doesn't matter.
